I’m not going to lie. When I travel solo, it’s pretty easy for me to feel very lonely. It takes the right conditions…a few days without talking to anyone. An isolated location. An emotional need that requires the touch of a loved one that’s not there. Especially if you’re moving locations frequently. Never in one place long enough to have steady connections.
I’ll also admit that I tend to spend a lot of time alone, when I travel. Even when I’m heading out for an adventure, I may not be with a group. It’s often a walk around the neighborhood to explore. Or a trek to a new park, without a guide. I haven’t typically sought out the groups, to be honest.
On this off-the-beaten-path itinerary that I usually carry, I’ve also been held by others in the most beautiful ways. Ways that remind me that we are all seeking love, expressing our version of love, and truly connected to one another through nothing short of the beauty of life.
When traveling in Africa, I landed from my flight and had to board a bus to meet my friend who lived there. It should have been easy, but I didn’t know that I needed cash. I didn’t speak the language. And, I had no idea how else to get where I was going. Despite probably having a lot more money in my bank account than this person, a disheveled man on the bus saw me confused and unable to pay, and gave me his last bit of change so that I could ride the bus. I gratefully accepted his gift.
One night in Madrid, Spain, two friends and I approached our hostel after a long day. Lugging our suitcases and backpacks up multiple flights of stairs, they informed us they had double booked the room. And, that there were no other available rooms. Despite traveling with friends this time, we were alone in the city, and it was getting late. We started looking for another place, with no idea where to start. This was before people carried cell phones. We found that every place nearby was booked, and it was already dark outside. Roaming for hours with our luggage on our backs and rolling down the streets. At 1am, we surrendered. If we were going to have a sleepless night roaming the streets, we might as well enjoy it! We found a hotel lobby with a bar, got a drink and enjoyed the company of others. One of the strangers we met heard we were room-less. He and his friends offered for us to stay with them. We were exhausted and so grateful. We dropped our heavy bags and slept on their hotel floor (since there weren’t enough beds). It became a night of laughter, and celebrating our new friendship.
After nearly 4 weeks of traveling in Costa Rica, I felt utterly alone and missed having friends and a community. I had spent the last 7 years homebound in the US, with only a few brief trips during that time. Each lasting no more than a week. And, I had spent 5 of those 7 years building up a strong community while living in North Carolina, and then had to leave it behind due to circumstances out of my control. That loss was already 2 years behind me, when I left for Costa Rica. Traveling solo this time, I relived the pangs of missing my community. I called one of my best friends, sat down at a bar to drink a beer (which is rare for me). And, he suggested I try surfing.
The idea was not that appealing, but it hit me that I was living on a beach filled with surfers, and it was possible to find community there. The next morning I nervously walked the beach. Passing a lot of surfing schools with pop-up tens. Only one pulled my attention in, and I walked over. Trusting my intuition. This felt right.
Within 5 minutes, I started crying. I told the instructor that I love being in the water, but surfing was too much. I’d recently been having “flashbacks” of drowning, when alone in water (even in a pool). This was not from a real event in my life, but the fear and images were very real. What I’m really looking for is community.
He immediately responded, by telling me that he understood. That this is what he’s created here (community). And he welcomed me to just spend time with them. He showed me where to hang my stuff, so they could watch it while I went swimming. He gave me the number of a local driver so I could easily get around town. And, he took me the local place to get food – which was literally an unmarked door – so I could eat home cooked meals at reasonable prices. I spent a full week at the beach, spending time with these phenomenal locals.
After a few days, they helped me find a local apartment. And, I found myself camping on the beach with them, sleeping under the stars. It was more than I could have hoped for. Leaving them and that beach was very bittersweet. But the kindness they showed me was immense. And, I realized again, that I can connected to others and in a community anywhere I want to be, as long as I reach out for it and share honestly from my heart.
My love and passion is to help people rediscover their free-est self. This is an adventure into what makes you happy, moves you, and lets you express yourself fully. To join me, or learn more, reach out by clicking the button above. Pura Vida!
