It didn’t take long after I started traveling again, to realize that I need community. Two years living in Europe in my last 20’s showed me that without a strong network to rely on, my soul feels empty and my spirit withers, when I don’t have a close group to share my joys with and cry to when things are hard.
Mind you, this is a reminder that I have been constantly reliving. Whether I’m traveling, or based in a home town. And, there have only been a few times where I successfully climbed myself out of the pit of feeling loneliness and lack of that community, into the light of having embraced the community that was there all along.
So, my latest adventure, coming after 7 years of very little travel, is the first and the last of that reminder. My ending and new beginning after many years of learning this lesson about what is and is not available.
Growing up, I had a relatively tight knit family. Our cousins lived around the corner, so we had a childhood of walking to each other’s house to play. We interacted a lot. And, shared a lot of affection – often, cuddling, tickling, or playfully wrestling. Even so, there were parts of me that were not welcome. And, those created a deep need as I grew up, to find “family” that would embrace me. This excluded part of me was my highly sensitive side, which had no place in New Jersey Jewish culture. This is a culture where sarcasm reigns, and it’s ok to yell at each other without considering the other person’s feelings.
So, when I was hurt, and needed to be comforted beyond my first 7 years of earlier childhood, it was not available to me.
Fast forward over 30 years (yes, sometimes life takes a long time to unravel the old!) and here I am, finally choosing to make myself available to community even when I’m highly sensitive and vulnerable. Finally, (when I can) trusting that I will not be rejected by it. I cannot tell you in this short story, just how much energy I have spent in learning about myself, practicing trust (which was scary and highly emotional for me), and overcoming the old belief system I had. But, I can tell you that I’m a different person now.
There are a million excuses (yes, that’s a New Jersey exaggeration) as to why I “can’t” or “couldn’t” create community while traveling. Like… ‘It takes too much energy, and I won’t be here long enough.’ Or, ‘I don’t know anyone, so how will I create the connections to contribute?’
Whatever the excuse was, it was just another way to say, ‘I’m afraid that it won’t work out (to do what will make me happy), either because of them or because of me.’ And, of course the outcome became predictable!
So, this time, in an effort to expose my true self. And, after many years of practice sharing vulnerably, which has lessened the intensity of my emotions when my needs aren’t being met. I was able to introduce myself to a community while traveling, and immediately be welcomed in for as long as I wished to stay. There were no expectations on my end or theirs (that made it easier!). And, the result was that I started to build deep connection with people where I was. Something that for me is truly fulfilling.
I started to meet more people through them, even got asked out on dates by locals! And, I spent more time exploring the nature there than I would have otherwise, since I had more access to rural areas. My experience overall became much fuller. Much more filled with excitement and connection. And, of course, I still went on a bunch of solo side-adventures.
If you’re curious about the community work I’ve done in certain areas, please reach out. I’m happy to share how and why I got involved the way I did.
My love and passion is to help people rediscover their free-est self. This is an adventure into what makes you happy, moves you, and lets you express yourself fully. To join me, or learn more, reach out by clicking the button above. Pura Vida!
